God is watching…PART 1

For the longest time, man has been meddling in the affairs of God, generally, for the benefit of man. Lately, in Israel, ultra-orthodox men appear to be running the show in what was originally God’s show.  They know better.  Left unchecked, God might strike us all with a thunderbolt and start creation all over, this time without man (and woman).  Who needs the headache, He might be asking.  This is undoubtedly one of my weirdest opening for a blog post.  But bear with me.  People of all persuasions, particularly Jews in Israel, think they have God figured out.  They know what’s to come in the afterlife and who’s invited, who’s a kosher Jew and who’s suspect.  To the best of my knowledge, no one’s come back yet from the other side to tell us what’s in store.  I can think of three possible reasons: 1.  There’s nothing  2. There is something, but it’s so wicked and so horrible, that no one has been able to climb out of the fiery abyss and report back to us  3.  There’s something so good out there, so paradise-like, that whoever’s there, members sipping banana daiquiris and nibbling on Belgian chocolate, choose not to tell us nor include us in their “Club Med.”

Yet ultra-orthodox Jews in Israel, using their unlimited minutes calling plan, seem to have a direct line to God’s ear and God’s will.  General elections were held here 4 months ago.  The religious parties returned to power with Netanyahu as prime minister.  They’re holding him by the jewels. They insist on turning us more Jewish than we already are.

Hundreds of thousands of Israelis whose Jewish conversion is in the process for months, sometime years are told that they’re not “Kosher.”  These applicants — children of mixed marriages, those whose ancestral lineage was broken, non-Jews who’d married Jews and wish to establish a home in Israel are told an emphatic No!  They live in limbo.  Rabbis will not marry them.  Couples usually trek to Cyprus, the neighboring island-state, or to Greece, to tie the knot.  Their future children will be deemed not Jewish, undeserving and underprivileged.  Before the elections, the right-wing parties courted them, invited them into the fold, made promises, and now that they’re in power, they’re regarded as pariah.  That’s their lousy fate.  They can’t catch a break after death, either.  They are not allowed to be buried with Jews although their sons or daughters (non-Jews) serve in the military, although they know Jewish holidays, and they’re as patriotic as the next guy.  Where’s the love?  Is that what God really wants?

minstry of religious affairs

And doesn’t all this talk of righteousness and purity remind us of something?

Israel has only one form of Judaism: Orthodox.  But in America and in Europe, Reform and Conservative Judaism is also practiced.  This week, David Azoulai, Israel’s minister of religious affairs called the Reform Jews in the U.S. “a disaster to the Nation of Israel” and “sinners.”  That’s when the Mazto Balls hit the fan.  They’re mad as hell.  Reform Jews make up almost 40% of all American Jews.  They practice Judaism Light; they drive during Sabbath, men and women sit together in synagogues; they fudge a little on the prayer-book, and they eat Kosher-style.  However, they support Israel overwhelmingly, contribute money, lobby, send their kids to Jewish summer camps.  Somehow God told Azoulai that these Jews are not good enough, either.  Israel has few friends.  Attacking its own brothers smacks of stupidity of the highest order.

Take the world’s population, for instance.  I did the math.  1 out of 500 is Jewish.  Take a good-size theater.  Only 1 Jew is sitting, front row, of course.  Take a soccer stadium to capacity.  Only 60 Jews are at the concessions stand drinking lemonade and eating Hebrew Nationals.  The other 29,940 are drinking beer.  I’m not saying let’s “Mother Teresa” everyone in the world, but shouldn’t we keep the Jews we already have?

For God’s sake?

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Maurice Labi is an Israeli-American who lived in Los Angeles for many years. In 2011 He returned to Northern Israel (Galilee) with his wife and twin teenage daughters. He is of two lands, of two cultures and he blogs about his experiences in Israel, particularly from Galilee where Jews and Arabs dwelled for centuries.

He has also written three novels: “Jupiter’s Stone,” “Into the Night,” and “American Moth” — available at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=maurice+labi&rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Amaurice+labi

or at BN.com

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Beef, Politics, Religion – it’s a dicey stew

Be patient, this paragraph will have an electrifying end.  Twice a week I ride my mountain bike with a couple of veteran bikers in the fields beyond Kfar Tavor, Galilee.  One day we come across a meadow blocked by metal wires.  My two friends get off their bikes and crouch under the wire and continue to pedal on the trail.  I follow their lead but accidentally graze the wire with my shoulder.  ZAP!!!  The live wire meant to keep cattle from wandering off sends an electric jolt down my spine.  It sends me flying with rattling teeth.

Cattle in meadow near Tavor Creek

Welcome to cow country, Galilee-style.  It’s not the endless territory of the West, but Israelis take cattle seriously, at least their meat.  Talk about beef and everyone’s eyes light up.  Tongues begin to drool.  Around here, chicken is cheap, plentiful, but lacks “charisma.”  Pigs are off-limits.  Fish is scarce and overpriced (flown from Cyprus, Greece) and comes with too many bones.

Beef – it’s what’s for dinner.

Unlike the U.S. where beef consumption is down, in Israel it’s up.  The standard of living is higher than ever before, more people have backyards in which to grill, they have an SUV to haul meat to the campsite, and they watch grilling shows on TV — all things that were unheard of just 20 years ago. Talk of beef and health issues fall on deaf ears.  Maybe they’re plugged with plaque.

On a recent outing on my bike I maneuver the tires around gobs of cow manure.  Up ahead, cows are grazing, about a 100 of them; they lift their lazy heads, take scant interest in me.  A young man comes down the trail, greets me with a raised arm.  I wave and brake the bike.  Turns out he’s a 21st century Arab herdsman from a nearby village.  He tells me the cattle eats the pasture in spring and summer, hay in winter.  “Who owns them?” I ask.  The answer surprises me.  A cattle baron from Gaza leases the land from Jews in Galilee, fattens the cattle, delivers them to the slaughterhouse.  “Isn’t there a blockade against Gaza?” I ask.  He tells me business is brisk; he sells the meat in Israel.

It isn’t always this simple.

A 2010 Israeli documentary film, loosely translated as “Luxuries,” by director David Ofek, shows how beef is used as political weapon.  Gilad Shalit, the Israeli soldier who was kidnapped by Hamas terrorists, was still a captive behind enemy lines in Gaza.  A cargo ship from Australia carrying 500 calves destined for Gaza is blocked.  The reason:  So long as Gilad Shalit is a prisoner, Hamas will not eat steak.  This is decided by the “coordinator” for the Territories, following directives from the Ministry of Defense.  That same coordinator allowed bananas and mangoes to enter Gaza, but not kiwi, a luxury.

The Australian calves cannot stay on board the ship.  They’re unloaded, kept in Israel by a rancher.  He bills the Gaza importer for each day he stores and feeds the calves.  A year later the calves have grown from 500 lbs to 2200(!) – double the “normal” slaughter weight, and no solution in sight.  No one wants them; their meat is tough; eventually they’re slaughtered into ground beef, sold to Arabs in Israel.

In this small country, space is limited.  Cattle has to compete with people, cities, agriculture, open spaces.  This explains why 2/3 of the total beef comes frozen from…Argentina.  In the wide pampas of Argentina, the Shohet, the person certified by the Rabbi, performs the slaughter prescribed by Jewish laws. Once the frozen beef gets here, it’s sold to distributors where it’s defrosted, injected with 10% of total weight with water and additives to “bring it back to life.”  The pan sizzles with as much fat as water.

You’d think that after a vast ocean crossing and so many intermediaries that  the cost of frozen meat will be high.  Well, it is by American standards, about $10 a pound.  Yet it pales in comparison to fresh beef slaughtered in Israel: $17 a pound.

I went to find out why.  Culturally, Jews and Arabs prefer fresh meat.  High demand jacks up the price.  So does the cost of keeping out wolves and thieves from the lands of Galilee and the Golan Heights.  Yet the biggest contributor to high cost are Kosher laws.  They dictate the feed type, the slaughter ritual, what part of the cow gets eaten, and what part gets thrown out.  One week before Passover and the week of the Holiday, the ranchers have to remove “wheat” from the cows’ feed because it’s Chametz, not Kosher.  What does a cow know about Moses and the parting of the Red Sea is beyond me.

The change in diet does a number on their stomachs.  During these two weeks the animals suffer from diarrhea and weight loss.  The ranchers take a loss, transfer it to the consumer.  The Kosher-prescribed slaughter, the salting of the meat to absorb the blood, the triple rinsing in water, the classification to Glatt Kosher, Kosher and unfit–they all add to the price.

And then there’s the ultimate reason why fresh beef costs plenty.  According to Kosher laws the hindquarters of the animal is forbidden.  In a sense, 1/3 of the animal cannot be eaten, yet the consumer covers the loss on behalf of the rancher, the meat industry, the rabbinical establishment.

Imagine going into an auto dealership to buy a new Buick.  You pay full sticker price and skid off the lot with the trunk and the rear tires missing.

I got to stop.  My wife Pnina is calling me to come to the dinner table.  I shout back, “Did you say you’re making tofu burgers?”

Bull.